I never expected that posting about the limits of CICO (calories in, calories out) in menopausal athletes would turn into a full-on display of toxic behavior from male coaches. But here we are.
What started as a simple statement—"Most menopause research wasn’t even done on menopausal women"—turned into a flood of gaslighting, dogma, and public mockery. Not just directed at me, but at any woman who dared to say, “Hey, my body doesn’t respond the way the textbooks say it should.”
Let’s be honest. A lot of fitness culture wasn’t built for us—especially those of us in menopause, perimenopause, or surgical menopause. And when we speak up about that, we’re often told we’re misinformed, emotional, or lying.
In my case, I was told I was “gaslighting clients,” “denying science,” and that I didn’t coach real athletes.
All because I coach women whose bodies—due to trauma, stress, surgery, and age—don’t always behave like a tidy energy balance equation.
And here’s the twist: these coaches weren’t just disagreeing. They were bullying. They openly mocked women for gaining weight. They used starvation in war zones as some sort of “proof” that menopause can’t affect body fat. They laughed about blocking me, verbally attacked a woman sharing her perimenopause experience, and turned Threads into their personal boy’s club.
They talked about “science” like it was something they own. But let’s talk about real science for a second.
Most menopause research doesn’t include athletes. Almost none includes BIPOC women, and definitely not surgical menopause. And very little explores the intersection of chronic stress, nervous system dysregulation, and hormonal shifts—all common for the women I work with.
So yes, there’s data. But it’s incomplete. And to dismiss lived experience as “emotions” or “nonsense” because it doesn’t fit the current research? That’s not scientific. That’s authoritarian.
It’s also ironic. Because these same men, who demand "nuance," offer none. They shout about "logic" and "facts" while behaving with incredible fragility—blocking, mocking, and deriding anyone who challenges their narrow interpretation of the evidence.
Here’s what I know: coaching isn’t about being the loudest voice in the room. It’s about listening. It’s about seeing the whole human—not just their macros, but their hormones, trauma history, training age, sleep, stress, and culture.
I coach performance, not fat loss. I work with masters and menopausal athletes who are reclaiming their strength, resilience, and joy in a body that doesn’t always play by outdated rules.
And that’s not anti-science. That’s what science should lead to: better questions, deeper empathy, and smarter coaching.
If you’ve ever been dismissed, shamed, or told you’re the problem when your body doesn't respond the way they say it should—I want you to know this: You’re not alone. You’re not broken. And you deserve coaching that reflects the complexity of who you are.
If you’re ready to be seen, heard, and supported with compassion and evidence, I’d love to work with you.
Reach out. Let’s rewrite the rules together.