Marathon training can feel like a solo mission—but more often than not, it turns into a group effort.
Whether it’s a best friend, a coworker, or your local run club crew, training with others is deeply woven into the running world. And it makes sense: accountability, motivation, and shared miles can be the glue that holds a training cycle together.
But here’s something most runners—and honestly, most coaches—don’t talk about enough:
Training with friends often turns into training like friends.
And that’s where things can quietly go sideways.
I’m currently working with three women who train together often. One is on a custom plan training for a local marathon at the end of November. The other two are coaching clients training for a World Marathon Major earlier that same month. They’re not chasing identical goals or racing on the same timeline—but they thrive in community, and they love training side-by-side.
It’s a tricky balance.
I’m constantly weaving their plans around one another—adjusting long runs slightly, layering in recovery, building room for flexibility—so they can train together without compromising individual progress.
This is the kind of behind-the-scenes coaching work that no one sees—and few talk about. But it’s incredibly common, especially with marathoners.
So let’s talk about what runners don’t often consider when they buddy up for a training cycle.
The Pros of Training Together
Let’s start with the obvious upside:
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Accountability. It’s harder to skip a run when someone’s waiting for you.
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Shared motivation. Misery loves company—and so do mile repeats.
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Built-in support. Someone to vent to, cheer with, or swap fuel with mid-run.
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Camaraderie. The emotional lift of training with someone who gets it is real.
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Race day synergy. Having a familiar face at the starting line can calm nerves and boost confidence.
These things matter. A lot. And for many runners, it’s what keeps them consistent.
But here’s the catch:
The Hidden Downsides No One Talks About
1. Pace shifting.
One person’s easy is another person’s tempo. It’s subtle at first—maybe a few beats over heart rate target, a few seconds off goal pace—but over time, it can compromise recovery and adaptation. You end up training in a gray zone that’s too hard for aerobic development but too easy for speed.
2. Mileage matching.
You weren’t scheduled for 18, but your friend is. So you run 18. The next week it’s 20. Your weekly load climbs without intention—and often without proper recovery.
3. Schedule syncing.
They want to run Wednesday, so you move your rest day. Or you push your long run to Sunday to match theirs, even though your plan had you recovering. A few swaps seem harmless, but they disrupt the training rhythm your body relies on.
4. Goal confusion.
You signed up to finish strong. They’re going for a BQ. Somewhere along the way, you forget which goal was yours. Comparison creeps in. Your pacing gets thrown. Suddenly you’re chasing someone else’s finish line.
5. Emotional pressure.
No one wants to be the “slow one.” So you hang on. You say yes to runs when your body says no. You bury your needs under group dynamics.
6. Unequal life load.
One of you is navigating menopause, caregiving, or work stress. The other is well-rested and sleeping 8 hours a night. Even if your paces match, your nervous systems aren’t on equal footing. But we rarely factor that in.
7. Coaching boundary blur.
It’s common: one runner hires a coach, the other just follows along. On paper, it might seem harmless. But in reality, it undermines the coached athlete’s individualization—and the coach’s work. (I’m lucky that in this case, all three women value and compensate me. But that’s not the norm.)
Why It Feels Fine… Until It Doesn’t
What makes this dynamic tricky is that it usually feels good.
It feels social. Supportive. Fun. So we assume it’s also “working.”
But the hard truth is this: *just because a run feels good doesn’t mean it’s serving your long-term goal.
A season of small adjustments can add up to plateau, injury, or burnout.
And the worst part? Most runners won’t even see the connection.
What Coaches Need to Know
If you’re coaching athletes who train with friends, you can’t just write the plan and walk away. You need to:
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Ask who they’re running with and how often
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Build flex points into the plan (where group runs are appropriate vs when solo is necessary)
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Reframe “missing out” as “staying true to the mission”
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Be explicit about why certain workouts must be individualized
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Honor the social component—don’t punish it—but protect the athlete’s adaptation
It takes more effort. It requires nuance. But it helps prevent misalignment that stalls progress.
Training with friends can be incredible.
But community and customization are not mutually exclusive.
You can run together.
You just don’t have to train the same.
And if you’re unsure how to balance the two?
That’s where coaching comes in—not just to prescribe workouts, but to help you stay in your lane while enjoying the road.
Want help navigating this in your own training group?
Or curious how to stay aligned with your goals while training with others?
Let’s talk.
Because you deserve a plan that supports your progress—and your joy.