When a male coach praises a woman for running—but frames it around her body size—it’s not empowerment. It’s ego.
I recently came across a post that started strong: a male nutrition coach celebrating someone for simply being out there running. He said he wasn’t the type to criticize form. Great, right? But then came the next line: his praise was aimed at an "overweight woman" running on the side of the road. He just "loved to see someone doing something good for themselves."
That second part stopped me cold. Because that wasn’t support. It was a judgment dressed up like encouragement. And it’s something women—especially those in larger bodies—hear all the time.
When Praise Is Still About Control
So let’s call it what it is: a compliment that centers body size, even positively, is still a form of objectification. It says: "I see you, and I’ve decided your body is acceptable because you’re trying to change it."
This type of praise is often rooted in the belief that larger bodies don’t belong in movement spaces unless they’re on their way to being smaller. It frames fitness as a moral obligation and bodies as a public project.
The Surprise Effect
That moment of shock—"Wow, she’s running!"—isn’t inspiring. It’s insulting.
It implies that we don’t expect women in larger bodies to take care of themselves or enjoy movement. The assumption behind the compliment is that it’s somehow exceptional for her to be out there. That she should be noticed, applauded, and labeled as "brave" just for existing in motion.
But here’s the truth: she’s not your before photo. She doesn’t need your permission or your praise. She’s just out for a damn run.
What Real Support Sounds Like
Let’s shift the lens. Real support recognizes effort, consistency, and autonomy. It has nothing to do with what the body looks like, and everything to do with what the person is doing.
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"I love seeing people taking time for themselves."
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"Way to get after it today."
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"You’re showing up for yourself. That’s what matters."
None of that requires you to comment on size, weight, or shape. It doesn’t center your expectations of what fitness should look like.
How Male Coaches Can Do Better
If you're a man in the fitness or wellness space, here's how you can show up with more awareness:
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Stop tying praise to appearance. Celebrate effort instead.
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Don’t assume someone wants feedback or commentary on their body (no matter what size they are).
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Reflect on your own biases before you hit post.
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If someone calls you in, listen. Don’t deflect. Don’t gaslight.
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Be a leader who makes space, not one who takes up space.
Positivity Can Still Be Harmful
When women call this out, we’re often met with, "You’re just looking for something to be mad about." But that response isn’t neutrality—it’s gaslighting. It shifts the focus away from the behavior and back onto us, framing us as combative, sensitive, or emotional.
Here’s the deal: calling out language that objectifies or patronizes isn’t being mad. It’s being aware. And it’s drawing a boundary.
Let’s Be Clear: This Is About Power, Not Praise
What looks like praise on the surface is often just another way to exert control. Who gets to be seen as "good" or "disciplined"? Who gets to move without commentary?
These aren’t small questions. They’re about power. And the ability to exist in public spaces—running, lifting, walking—without being evaluated is still something many women don’t have.
When we speak up, we’re not attacking. We’re interrupting the comfort of systems that weren’t built for us.
Coaches, Do Better. Women, Keep Running.
To the male coaches: you are in a position of influence. Use it wisely. Check your words. Ask yourself who you’re centering.
To the women who are tired of being judged, even in the name of praise: keep running. Keep moving. Keep taking up space.
You don’t need to be brave. You don’t need to be inspirational. You just need to be.
We don’t need applause for showing up. We need space to do our thing without commentary.
And if you can’t support that, you’re not being supportive at all.