Perimenopause, Weight Gain, and the Weaponized Misuse of "Science"
A woman vulnerably shares that she’s doing everything right:
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In a calorie deficit
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Hitting nutrition targets
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Running regularly
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Walking 10,000 steps daily
And still—she’s gaining weight.
She ends her post with raw honesty:
“I'm trying so fucking hard and I'm getting fatter and fatter.”
The internet should've met her with empathy. Instead, a male coach reposted it with a smug takedown:
“This thread is a literal shitshow of misinformation... If you're not losing, you're not in a deficit... Hormones don’t stop weight loss. False.”
Let’s break down what’s actually happening here—and why this kind of commentary is part of the problem, not the solution.
The Oversimplified Lie of "CICO"
“Calories in vs. calories out” (CICO) works perfectly—on paper.
But in the real, hormone-riddled bodies of perimenopausal women?
It’s not that simple.
Here's why:
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Hormones affect energy metabolism. Fluctuations in estrogen and progesterone impact how calories are burned and stored, especially around the abdomen.
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Cortisol resistance becomes more common. Chronic stress increases fat storage, regardless of calorie intake.
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Sleep quality deteriorates, which impairs glucose metabolism and appetite regulation.
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Muscle mass often decreases, further reducing basal metabolic rate.
But here’s the kicker: many of these changes aren’t immediately visible on a scale or in a food tracker. So when a woman says, “I’m in a deficit,” and a coach fires back with “No, you’re not,” he’s ignoring the entire hormonal ecosystem that could be affecting her body’s response to that deficit.
Gaslighting Disguised as Concern
The coach wraps up his takedown with this line:
“I hope she eventually gets the help she needs.”
That’s not compassion. That’s performative superiority.
He’s not offering insight.
He’s not listening.
He’s using her struggle to bolster his own authority, while dismissing the very real physiological changes she’s dealing with.
This isn’t how you support someone. It’s how you silence them.
Let’s Get Honest About Evidence
The reason so many women feel unheard during perimenopause is because most of the studies we’ve relied on for decades were done on men or younger, fertile women.
That’s not speculation. That’s documented bias.
There’s a reason people are sharing their experiences online: because the system didn’t research them. So yes, their stories are anecdotal. But they’re also data points the industry ignored.
Anecdotal evidence isn’t the opposite of science.
It’s the beginning of better science—if we listen.
What We Should Be Saying Instead
When a woman says, “I'm doing all the right things and gaining weight,” the correct response isn’t, “Well, clearly you’re wrong.”
It’s:
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“You’re not crazy. This happens to a lot of women.”
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“Let’s talk about how perimenopause changes things.”
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“Your effort still matters. Your experience is valid.”
For the Coaches Reading This:
If your only tool is CICO and your only reaction is to blame the client, you’re not coaching.
You’re clinging to dogma.
And in a world where 100% of women go through menopause, that’s not just lazy—it’s negligent.
Women in perimenopause are not broken.
They’re not lying.
They’re not “misinformed.”
They’re navigating an under-researched, biologically complex transition in a fitness culture that was never built for them.
If that makes you uncomfortable, maybe the real deficit is in your empathy—not their math.
To the woman who posted her truth:
You are not alone.
Your body is not betraying you.
You’re not imagining it.
And you sure as hell don’t need permission from someone who has never lived in your skin to validate your reality.
The revolution in women’s health isn’t coming.
It’s already here.
And it starts when we stop apologizing for speaking up.