There’s a very specific type of internet guy—usually protein-shake adjacent—who shows up anytime a woman talks about menopause, hormones, or anything that challenges the Church of CICO (Calories In, Calories Out).
You’ve seen him. He slides into a thread not to learn, not to contribute, but to dominate. He doesn’t ask questions—he demands citations. Not because he’s genuinely curious, but because he’s uncomfortable. And rather than sit with that discomfort, he throws the same tired line every time:
“Cite the research or shut up.”
How original.
Let me be clear: research matters. I love data. I use it every day as a coach. But if you’re clinging to studies done primarily on young men to invalidate the experiences of menopausal women, you’re not defending science. You’re defending your ego.
The Reality They Can’t Handle
Most research has historically been done on men. Not just athletes—men. Male lab rats. Male cells. Male everything. Why? Because female hormone cycles were seen as “too complicated.” Apparently studying half the population is an inconvenience. Who knew.
So when women question the validity of male-dominated data being used to dictate how menopausal bodies should eat, train, and recover—it’s not anti-science. It’s called critical thinking.
Here’s a quick list for those keeping score at home:
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Cardiovascular disease? For years, diagnosed using male symptoms. Women were dying because their symptoms looked different and weren’t taken seriously.
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Drug metabolism? Ambien dosages had to be cut in half after the FDA realized women metabolized it slower. (After a decade of car crashes, cool cool.)
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Exercise science? Built on studies of young men. Female responses to heat, fueling, and recovery? Often ignored.
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Menopause and fat loss? Still woefully understudied. But bro-scientists can’t handle the nuance that hormonal changes do affect metabolism, energy availability, and recovery.
But sure, I’m the problem because I “blame hormones.”
The Mic Drop That Wasn’t
After I called this out, one particularly confident (and now blocked) man posted this:
“Accounts like this set women back decades.
Denies a calorie deficit should be a focus
Blames hormones for CICO not applying
Claims menopause studies done on men and when questioned cited two heart and cardiovascular studies with one including over 250 women.
Ends up using her anecdotal situation as evidence.”
Let’s break that down.
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"Sets women back decades": You mean like asking for better research, acknowledging physiological differences, and calling out bias? That kind of regression?
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"Denies calorie deficit": No, we question the oversimplified application of it, especially when hormones change how the body regulates hunger, energy output, and fat storage.
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"Blames hormones": My dude. It’s not “blaming.” It’s biology.
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"Only cited two studies": They were landmark studies. If you understood their implications, two would’ve been enough.
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"Uses anecdote": That’s what you call lived experience when you don’t want to listen. Funny how men’s personal experiences often get labeled “truth” while women’s are “anecdotal.”
The Real Problem: A Lack of Curiosity
This isn’t about one guy. It’s about a mindset. The “cite the research” refrain isn’t always about science. Sometimes, it’s a power move. A way to shut women down, especially when they dare to speak with authority about their own bodies.
You know what’s harder than citing studies?
Listening.
Sitting with discomfort.
Being open to the idea that your go-to frameworks might not apply universally.
But that takes curiosity, humility, and—let’s be honest—a little emotional regulation.
Empathy Isn’t Peer-Reviewed
Look, you can’t PubMed your way into understanding menopause if you refuse to listen to people going through it. You’re not more objective because you quote studies. You’re not more intelligent because you can regurgitate someone else’s conclusions.
Empathy isn’t peer-reviewed. But it is required if you want to be part of any conversation about human experience.
So if the best you’ve got is “cite the research or shut up,” maybe it’s you who needs to hit the books.