You’ve probably heard it before:
“I’ve worked with hundreds of menopausal women!”
A male coach—maybe one with a huge following, a ripped six-pack, and a mountain of “research”—says this like it's proof of expertise. And sure, maybe he has helped some women. I’m not here to say he hasn’t.
But here’s the thing no one talks about:
What about the women who never finished the program?
The ones who didn’t get the results?
Who dropped off silently?
Who blamed themselves because their body didn’t respond the way the coach said it “should”?
Let’s talk about them. Because their silence is not consent. And the absence of critique isn’t proof that your plan worked.
When Women Quit Quietly, Ego Fills in the Blanks
Plenty of women walk away from coaching programs not because they “weren’t compliant,” but because:
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They didn’t feel heard.
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Their symptoms were brushed off.
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The approach didn’t align with their physiology.
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The coach’s tone made them feel like a problem—not a person.
But rather than reflecting on that, many coaches assume:
“Well, she must’ve just not wanted it bad enough.”
That’s not coaching. That’s ego protection.
Why “Helping Women” Isn’t the Flex You Think It Is
Let’s get one thing straight:
Helping a handful of women doesn’t mean your approach works for all. Especially not in peri/menopause, where experiences vary wildly.
Here’s what some coaches get wrong:
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They assume silence means success.
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They take “before and after” pictures as the whole story.
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They center their own knowledge, not the woman’s lived experience.
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They never ask why certain women left their programs—and don’t want to know.
Helping women is only meaningful if you’re willing to:
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Own the failures.
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Create space for uncomfortable feedback.
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Shift your methods when your clients’ bodies don’t follow textbook patterns.
Why Menopause Isn’t a Niche—It’s a Biological Reality
You don’t get bonus points for deciding to coach menopausal women. You’re not breaking ground.
You’re just finally acknowledging a biological phase half the population goes through.
But if you enter that space:
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Quoting research that excludes actual menopausal bodies,
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Dismissing symptoms as “excuses,”
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Speaking with more certainty than curiosity,
…then you’re not doing these women a service. You’re just reshaping their struggle to fit your brand.
“I Studied Menopause for Years” = Still Not Lived Experience
Another favorite line:
“I’ve read the research. I’ve studied menopause.”
Cool. But most menopause research was:
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Done on men.
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Done on younger populations.
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Not reflective of real-life hormone chaos, poor sleep, injury risk, or lived complexity.
So unless you’re also listening to the women on the ground—the ones who struggle, drop out, push through, and whisper “this isn’t working” to themselves at night—your research doesn’t mean much.
So What Does Good Coaching in Menopause Look Like?
- It accounts for hormonal shifts.
- It leaves room for individual variation.
- It adapts when things don’t go to plan.
- It doesn’t punish or pathologize women for how their bodies change.
- It prioritizes safety, trust, and communication.
And above all else:
It listens.
Because for every woman who stayed and succeeded, there’s likely another who left, thinking it was her fault that the plan didn’t work.
A Note to the Bro-Experts
If you’re a male coach in the menopause space, here’s some unsolicited advice:
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Your job isn’t to fix women. It’s to understand them.
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Your wins don’t matter if you ignore the losses.
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Your ego isn’t a credential. Listening is.
This work requires more than certainty. It requires humility.
Because menopause doesn’t care how many transformations you’ve posted. It cares whether you’re paying attention to the ones who never made it to the after photo.