Why shared lived experience between a coach and a runner can change everything—from confidence to consistency to actually enjoying the sport.
There’s a reason some athletes thrive the moment they find the right coach—even if that coach isn’t the fastest, the flashiest, or the one posting 20-mile long runs every weekend. It’s not about pace. It’s not about prestige. It’s not even about certifications.
It’s about relatability.
It’s about lived experience.
It’s about seeing someone who understands where you’re coming from and isn’t asking you to be someone you’re not.
My coaching didn’t become what it is because I memorized textbooks. It became what it is because I’ve lived through enough seasons, losses, hormonal chaos, identity shifts, grief cycles, and reinventions to recognize the look in an athlete’s eyes when they’re trying to hold it together but their body and life are throwing plot twists like confetti.
How My Lived Experience Shapes My Coaching—Every Single Day
People see me now and forget I didn’t come into coaching through the “typical” path. I didn’t grow up as the natural athlete. I didn’t stumble into running without friction. My timeline includes surgical menopause at 38, endometriosis, health trauma, rebuilding my identity multiple times, and learning to navigate big life transitions without any real blueprint.
And that’s why my athletes trust me.
Because I don’t coach from theory—I coach from lived truth.
When a peri/menopausal athlete tells me she feels like she’s losing her sense of self, I don’t have to imagine it.
When someone is mentally exhausted and struggling to get out the door, I know exactly what that heaviness feels like.
When a runner is trying to balance motherhood, caregiving, work, stress, or hormonal chaos, I don’t need a chart to tell me why her pace feels harder.
When someone is carrying trauma in their body, I don’t treat their training as a “mind over matter” problem. I treat it with care, pacing, and respect.
My ability to coach doesn’t come despite these experiences—it comes because of them.
Runners don’t need a perfect coach.
They need a human coach who gets why their journey feels personal.
Why Shared Experience Leads to Long-Term Success
(Not just a good eight-week build)
When a coach and athlete see the world through similar lenses, a different kind of trust forms. The athlete stops performing. They stop pretending. They stop apologizing for needing adjustments. They stop disappearing when life gets messy.
And once you strip all that pressure away, something powerful happens—
they become consistent.
Consistency doesn’t come from willpower.
It comes from safety.
If an athlete feels seen, understood, and supported—not just in their running life but in the context of their whole life—they’re far more likely to stay in the sport for years instead of months.
Shared lived experience also helps an athlete:
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Stop chasing perfection
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Stop comparing themselves to bodies that aren’t navigating what theirs is
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Build confidence they can actually trust
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Move through setbacks without losing their identity
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Train for the long game instead of burning out in short cycles
There’s nothing more powerful than an athlete who realizes:
“I’m not broken. I’m not behind. I’m not failing. I’m just human—and my coach gets it.”
Why It Matters to Be in a Space Where You Feel Seen
(And how quickly things shift when you finally are)
You can be doing all the “right” training and still feel disconnected from running if the space around you doesn’t reflect you, understand you, or make room for the reality of your life.
Belonging isn’t a perk—it’s performance architecture.
When runners feel understood:
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They ask for help sooner
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They communicate honestly
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They actually rest when they’re supposed to
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They don’t spiral after a bad workout
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They feel safe exploring new distances or goals
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They trust the process because they trust the person guiding them
And when runners don’t feel understood?
They shrink. They apologize. They hide. They assume their struggles are personal failures instead of physiological or situational realities. And eventually… they stop showing up.
A coach who shares even one part of your lived experience—trauma, menopause, parenting, grief, injury, queerness, identity, body changes, cultural background—can give you permission to be exactly who you are inside your training.
That’s when running becomes sustainable.
That’s when it becomes joyful again.
For Runners Who Haven’t Felt Represented in This Sport
If you’ve ever looked around a running space and felt completely alone, here’s what I want you to hear:
You weren’t imagining it.
The sport is improving, but many of the default systems weren’t built with your identity, body, or lived experience in mind.
But that does not mean you don’t belong here.
It means the system needs to evolve—not you.
Here’s how you start reclaiming that space:
Find coaches and communities that actually see YOU
Not the you they want you to be.
Not the filtered version.
Not the version that fits their pace charts or their idea of what a runner “should” look like.
Look for leaders whose lived experience overlaps with yours
You don’t need a perfect match.
You need someone who understands the terrain you’re navigating.
Prioritize emotional safety, not just structure
If you can’t tell your coach when you’re struggling, that’s not a fit.
If you can’t show up to a run group without code-switching or shrinking, that’s not your community.
And if nothing out there feels right?
You are absolutely allowed to build your own space.
Many of the most inclusive communities in running exist because someone got tired of waiting for permission.
Running belongs to all of us—not the select few who fit the industry’s outdated mold.
If You Want Support From Someone Who Actually Gets Your Season of Life
If everything in this piece hit a little too close to home—in a good way—this is exactly why I created Project Breakthrough. It’s the plan for runners who’ve been carrying more than just mileage. The ones navigating identity shifts, hormonal changes, burnout, trauma, or the slow drift away from the sport they used to love. It’s structured, supportive, and grounded in the kind of lived experience most apps and programs don’t account for.
If you’re craving a way back to yourself—not just your training paces—you can start here:
Project Breakthrough: A Reset for Runners Who Need a Different Kind of Support
And if what you need is deeper partnership and a coach who actually understands the terrain you’re navigating, my 1:1 Coaching is where we build long-term confidence, consistency, and a running identity that fits the life you’re living—not the one you think you “should” have.
(link to coaching page)
Wherever you land, just know this: you don’t have to navigate any of this alone, and nothing about your story disqualifies you from being a runner.