Every athlete hits that point where control stops being a tool and starts being a chokehold.
For me, it’s usually somewhere between trying to outsmart fatigue and pretending recovery is optional. Spoiler alert: it never ends well.
I used to think control meant discipline. That if I could just nail every pace, every macro, every workout, I’d earn the progress I was chasing. But the truth? The tighter I gripped, the less I could breathe. I wasn’t optimizing. I was suffocating under the illusion that precision was power.
Control felt safe when my body wasn’t predictable.
After surgical menopause, it became my go-to coping mechanism. Numbers, plans, data—all gave me a sense of certainty that my hormones had hijacked. But trying to control a body in transition is like trying to train a cat to heel—it’s not disobedience; it’s biology doing its thing.
At some point, I had to admit that my “consistency” wasn’t discipline—it was fear.
Fear of slowing down. Fear of being seen as less capable. Fear that the younger version of me would be disappointed in this new one. But every time I tried to control what was happening, I made it worse. My runs lost joy. My strength plateaued. My recovery lagged. And I started confusing self-awareness with self-criticism.
Letting go didn’t mean giving up—it meant letting things move.
That’s the difference most athletes miss. Letting go is an act of respect. It’s how you learn to work with your body instead of against it. When I stopped micro-managing every metric, my runs got lighter. My lifts got stronger. And—wild concept—I actually started sleeping.
If you’re in that place right now, gripping your routine so hard it’s leaving dents, try this:
Instead of asking, “How can I control this?” ask, “How can I collaborate with it?”
Your body isn’t the enemy. It’s the teammate that’s been trying to communicate the whole damn time—you just haven’t been listening.
This isn’t about perfection. It’s about partnership.
Control gets you compliance. Collaboration gets you longevity.
And for those of us navigating menopause, aging, or athletic reinvention, longevity is the real win.
So loosen your grip.
Trust that the work still counts even when it looks different.
And remember—some of the best breakthroughs happen when you finally stop trying so hard to force one.
Feeling that tug-of-war with your training? Check out my Mindset Reset: A 30-Day System to Rewire Your Habits + Reclaim Your Focus. It’s built to help you release control, rebuild trust, and find flow again. You may also like Project: Breakthrough, it's a training plan unlike any other! I built it to help rediscover the joy of running while reducing pressure to perform so you can hit that next level of performance.