Let’s get one thing straight—coaching and preaching are not the same thing.
Coaching is collaborative. Coaching listens. Coaching adjusts, reworks, and builds trust. Preaching? Preaching shouts absolutes into the void, demands conformity, and often leaves people feeling like failures if they don’t measure up.
Lately, I’ve watched a sea of self-proclaimed experts morph into wellness preachers. They parade cherry-picked studies like scripture, dismiss lived experience like it’s anecdotal trash, and claim their version of “evidence” is the only one that matters.
Let’s break down some real-world examples and why this difference matters, especially for menopausal and masters athletes.
Receipt #1: The CICO Absolutists
Take this recent gem from a male weight loss coach: “CICO always works. If it’s not working, you’re not doing it right.”
A woman replies with context: she’s postmenopausal, has a thyroid disorder, and has been tracking religiously. He answers with, “Then you’re not tracking accurately.”
That’s not coaching. That’s gaslighting dressed up in a MyFitnessPal hoodie. It ignores complex physiology, nuance, and real-world conditions that impact outcomes.
Receipt #2: The Misunderstanding of Menopause
A male coach, who claims to support women in midlife, recently said: “Perimenopause doesn’t affect metabolism or fat storage unless insulin resistance is present.”
Except we have loads of data showing hormonal shifts do impact fat distribution, appetite signaling, and even recovery rates. And the kicker? He says all this while reposting a female coach saying the same thing—but he only validates her because she’s a woman.
Coaching? Not even close. That’s a performative understanding of physiology wrapped in selective confirmation bias.
Receipt #3: Weaponized Credentials
Another popular male voice on Threads demands “PMIDs or it didn’t happen.”
Presenting research? He’ll say it’s low quality. Bring up experience? He’ll call it anecdotal. Suggest both hold value? He’ll say you’re a grifter. And then he'll call you "peanut" or a "dipshit" in the process.
There’s no curiosity. No context. Just a condescending sermon from the pulpit of PubMed.
And here’s what’s extra messy: Many people think they’re being helpful. They think they’re promoting truth. But without the ability to hold space for nuance, for humanity, and for lived reality? It’s all just noise.
Preaching pretends to be truth. Coaching builds understanding.
Here’s why this matters:
Women in peri/menopause are exhausted from the noise. They’re being told their fatigue is imaginary, their weight gain is laziness, and their lived experiences are invalid unless backed by a meta-analysis.
But coaching? Real coaching meets women where they are, honors what’s changing in their bodies, and supports adaptation—not shame.
Read part two here, where I dig into the real cost of dismissing lived experience—and how we rebuild trust in the coaching space, especially for women who’ve been dismissed for far too long.