Recently, I questioned some misinformation regarding hormone replacement therapy (HRT) and bone health. I didn’t attack a person, I challenged an idea—an interpretation of a observational study. Yet the response I received wasn't scientific debate or genuine curiosity. Instead, it was a personal attack on my body and my breakfast.
Think about that for a second: One breakfast photo was enough for someone who didn't know me, my credentials, or my life experience to feel qualified to judge my entire state of health, fitness, and professional capability.
This isn't new. As women, we're used to being policed:
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By men who think we take up too much space or not enough.
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By women who gatekeep "health" or "natural" living as if there is only one correct way.
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By strangers online who decide our worth based on the snapshots we've chosen to share of our lives rather than the totality of our experiences.
It’s almost always a snap judgment. Quick, harsh, and without nuance. And more often than not, when faced with a challenge, these same individuals hit the block button to "protect their peace" rather than open themselves up to learning or growth.
And let’s be honest: "Protecting my peace" has become a shield people use to avoid the discomfort of growth. It's not always about maintaining mental health. Sometimes, it's about clinging to superiority in a wellness space built on curated purity and control.
Because the wellness world has its own hierarchy. And nowhere is that more obvious than when a woman over 40 dares to say, "Actually, I eat carbs, I lift heavy, and yes—I use HRT."
There’s a quiet shame economy in the "natural only" world. One where women are praised not for how well they support their bodies, but for how well they can endure without support. Suffering becomes a badge of honor. Anything else is viewed as weakness—or worse, not woman enough.
We also live in a world where hypervisibility is a paradox. You’re too much and not enough. Too loud if you speak with confidence. Not credible enough if you don’t share your labs, degrees, and your daily food log. One photo of a waffle and a side of chicken? Suddenly your whole identity is up for critique.
But here's the thing:
When someone chooses body shaming or personal attacks over genuine discourse, it reveals far more about them than it ever does about you.
I'm not here to shrink myself to fit into someone else’s narrow definition of wellness. I'm here to expand the conversation. I'm here for the nuance, the messiness, and the genuine curiosity.
Yet I also understand that speaking up can feel uncomfortable or overwhelming. You may not want to "create drama", fear judgment or backlash, or worry you don’t have all the facts or credentials to defend yourself effectively. Maybe you're concerned about alienating people you care about or are unsure how to set healthy boundaries without seeming dismissive yourself. All of these feelings are valid. But remember: real growth and meaningful conversations come from embracing these fears, not avoiding them.
If challenging misinformation or outdated ideas makes someone uncomfortable enough to block me? Well, I'll take that as confirmation I'm doing exactly what I'm meant to be doing: questioning, educating, and refusing to stay quiet for someone else's comfort because there are other women out there who need to feel seen and supported.
Keep questioning. Keep speaking up. Your voice matters.