Let’s get one thing straight: when a woman says, “Stop mansplaining menopause to me,” it’s not because she’s allergic to chromosomes. It’s because she’s exhausted. Dismissed. Disbelieved. Again and again.
Not just in doctor’s offices, but in locker rooms, coaching calls, social media debates, and even research spaces—where her lived experiences get dismissed as “just anecdotal” or ignored altogether.
So what’s really going on here?
Why Women Push Back
Women—especially those in perimenopause or menopause—are done being patient. We’ve spent years having our pain minimized, our hormones blamed for everything, and our voices silenced in both medical and fitness environments.
We’ve been gaslit by male doctors telling us our symptoms are “all in our heads.” Trained by coaches unwilling to adjust plans for our cycles, stress, or surgical recoveries. Told that if it’s not published in some “peer-reviewed” journal, it simply doesn’t count.
When a woman finally says, “Stop telling me how my body works,” she’s not attacking men—she’s reclaiming her authority and expertise over her own experience.
Here are some real-life examples of how that dismissal plays out:
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The “Last Period” Question That Doesn’t Quit
A male doctor asks a younger athlete, “When was your last period?” She's annoyed because she wasn't even there for anything gyn related but answers, “I’m menopausal.” The doctor laughs, “What makes you think that?” She replies, “I had a hysterectomy.” Silence.
This shows how basic medical facts get missed or ignored, dismissing lived knowledge simply because it’s outside the male perspective. -
“You’re Overthinking It”
An athlete shares symptoms like hot flashes or brain fog. The male coach responds, “It’s probably just stress or dehydration. You’re reading too much into it.”
This classic minimization plants doubt and undermines real struggles. -
“You’re Not Menopausal, You Just Need to Eat Less”
Coach says to an athlete struggling with energy and weight, “If you ate less and trained harder, this wouldn’t be a problem.” The athlete explains hormonal changes, but the coach insists, “Hormones don’t do that. It’s calories in, calories out.”
This dismisses complex biology and reduces everything to a simplistic formula. -
“Menopause? Isn’t That Just Hot Flashes?”
When an athlete talks about cognitive fog, joint pain, or mood swings, a male colleague shrugs, “Menopause is just hot flashes, right?”
Reducing menopause to stereotypes ignores the wide-ranging impact it really has. -
“Why Do You Need Special Training? Just Run”
A female athlete asks for training modifications for her cycle or recovery. The male coach says, “Everyone trains the same way. You’re overcomplicating things.” When she explains hormones affect recovery, he replies, “That’s just an excuse to avoid hard work.”
This dismisses the need for individualized coaching and labels legitimate physiology as weakness.
These patterns aren’t about one-off moments. They add up, year after year. That’s why women say “stop mansplaining” or “hate on male coaches.” It’s not personal. It’s about a repeated experience of being dismissed, ignored, or gaslit. That breeds mistrust and frustration.
Why Male Egos Sometimes Get Loud
Here’s the truth: many men grow up believing their intellect is their power. When that’s questioned—especially by women sharing lived experience—it can feel threatening.
If your first reaction is to correct, defend, or lecture, pause. Ask yourself: is this really about her experience? Or your need to be right?
True allyship isn’t about being perfect. It’s about humility.
Want to Be a Better Ally? Start Here
The best male coaches and clinicians I know don’t rush to fix or explain. They listen. They learn. They hold space for women’s voices to be heard—without needing to be the hero.
If you want to be part of the change, start by asking yourself:
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What am I feeling? Why does this hit a nerve?
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Am I trying to understand, or just waiting to respond?
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Have I read the full context before reacting?
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Is this about proving a point—or acknowledging harm?
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Do I trust women as the experts on their own bodies?
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Am I more focused on defending men than supporting women?
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Would I say this in a room of women who’ve been dismissed or harmed?
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What are the real stakes here—for her and for me?
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Could I stay quiet, reflect, and come back with a better contribution?
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How can I amplify women’s voices instead of overriding them?
If those questions feel uncomfortable, that’s good. Growth starts there.
A Coaching Companion to Go Deeper
If you’re a male coach, clinician, or athlete ready to move beyond defensiveness but unsure where to begin, download the Coaching Ally Companion.
It’s a straightforward, practical resource packed with real examples, reflection prompts designed for men who don’t usually journal, and action steps to:
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Navigate feedback without fragility
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Support without centering yourself
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Build trust with the women you coach and serve
You don’t have to be perfect. You just need to be willing.
Download the free Coaching Ally Companion here and let’s raise the bar—not just the volume.