We’ve talked about what coaching isn’t. Now let’s talk about how to spot the real thing—before you find yourself confused, dismissed, or burned out by bad advice.
The fitness and wellness world is full of noise. From PhDs to personal trainers to TikTok nutritionists, it can feel impossible to tell who actually has your back versus who just wants your click, comment, or cash.
So let’s simplify it.
Preachers speak in absolutes. Coaches speak in patterns.
If someone says,
“CICO is the only thing that matters.”
“You don’t need rest days.”
“Cortisol doesn’t cause weight gain—full stop.”
That’s not curiosity. That’s control.
A coach will say,
“Here’s how energy balance works—and here’s where it gets more complex.”
“You might need more recovery during this training block.”
“Let’s look at how stress and hormonal shifts might be affecting your sleep, hunger, or recovery.”
See the difference?
Coaching considers the human. Preaching caters to the algorithm.
Too many coaches build brands by mocking nuance. They use sarcasm and cherry-picked studies to dunk on anyone asking real questions. Why? Because dunking goes viral.
But coaching isn’t content. It’s connection.
A good coach doesn’t need you to agree with everything they say. They care more about what you need to feel supported and successful. That means context. It means listening. It means evolving when new data (or your lived experience) shows up.
Watch how they respond to pushback.
Do they:
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Get defensive and deflect?
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Demand credentials to validate your opinion?
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Call you emotional or accuse you of "not wanting the truth"?
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Double down on their one-size-fits-all answer?
Or do they:
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Invite discussion?
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Ask thoughtful questions?
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Point to multiple sides of the issue?
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Say “we don’t know everything, but here’s what we do know”?
You’ll know within two replies which kind of coach you’re dealing with.
Real coaching isn’t sexy—but it works.
It won’t always go viral. It won’t always give you a simple, snappy answer. But it will make you feel more capable. Not confused. Not ashamed. Not like you have to buy another supplement or start another round of 75 Hard just to feel okay in your body.
If you’re peri/menopausal or a masters athlete, the stakes are even higher. You don’t have time to waste on empty sermons that ignore how your body’s actually changing. You deserve real support—not recycled macros from some guy who’s never had a hot flash.
So here’s your checklist. Before you follow, hire, or share:
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Are they listening or lecturing?
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Do they provide nuance, or push one "truth"?
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Do they treat science like a tool or a sword?
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Do they center you, or their brand?
And most importantly:
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Do you feel more empowered after hearing from them—or more confused and judged?
That’s the coaching vs. preaching difference.
Choose wisely. Your body’s not a battleground for their ego—and you deserve better than someone who treats it like one.
Ready to experience real coaching built for your real life?
If you’re tired of being preached at and want support that actually fits your stage of life, I’m here for you. Explore coaching for menopausal and masters athletes that honors your body, your goals, and your lived experience. Learn more here.
Miss the rest of the series? Read Part 1 here. Part 2 here.